


Foot in Mouth Disease

by space_squirrel



Series: Warrior Daughter [10]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Cheating, F/M, we were on a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 04:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11751672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_squirrel/pseuds/space_squirrel
Summary: They. Were On. A BREAK!Or, Day 7 of the Month of Fanfic challenge, "The bad thing that no one talks about".





	Foot in Mouth Disease

**The “bad thing no one talks about”, for those of us who are shenko trash, tends to be one of two things: the doctor, which we all know *I* talk about, or the (dun dun dun) "you cheated" line (que WE WERE ON A BREAK!).**

**So, here’s the thing: I get the INTENT behind Kaidan’s words. I do. But his messaging could have been a little better. The worst part of all this, by far though, is the lack of options provided for Shep's reaction.**

 

* * *

 

Kaidan rubs a hand down his face, sighing heavily as he eyes the main bar from his corner booth.

He's been discharged from the hospital for a couple days, now, and was meeting his buddy Fergie for a quick drink before getting his first Spectre assignment in the morning. “To take your mind off things,” Ferg had said, full well knowing he’d gone and stuck his foot in his mouth with Shepard.

Again.

Unfortunately for Kaidan, the source of his misery is apparently not only on the Citadel tonight, but on the other side of the bar, clad in jeans and a tank top, her long blonde hair in its signature braid. There’s a heavily tattooed woman to her left, who Kaidan recognizes as a teacher from Grissom, engaged in an animated conversation with Vega; and Joker is on Shepard’s far right, ordering a round of drinks from the looks of it. Standing next to Shepard - far too closely, if you ask Kaidan - is a tall, familiar looking man - Kaidan is sure he’s seen him before, though he can’t quite place where. The man turns, reaching for a pair of fresh beers before handing one to Shepard, and Kaidan catches a glimpse of an N7 tattoo on his inner arm. _He must be one of her N buddies_ , he realizes, unsure as to whether that makes him feel better or worse about the whole situation.

 _Not that it really matters_ , he thinks, mentally kicking himself as he tears his eyes away from the scene, taking a long sip of his beer. He has no right to comment on who Shepard is hanging around with, not anymore. Not since he’d shoved his foot farther into his mouth than he thought possible at Huerta a couple weeks ago.

No, he _definitely_ shouldn’t care, he tells himself. He’s not allowed to care, not anymore. She’d made that perfectly clear during their last conversation.

What was it he’d said? He’d make a joke, something about his biotics getting better with age. And Sophie, she’d laughed, _actually_ laughed, and tilted her head, a smile flirting across her lips. “Or maybe you have, _Major,”_ she’d purred, fixing her gaze on him, and his heart sped up, just a little. Maybe whatever they’d had... maybe it wasn’t lost, not completely.

“Are you flirting with me Commander? Wait, wait, don’t tell me,” he’d said, smiling back at her and lowering his voice. “Let me live in the illusion.”

They’d fallen into a comfortable silence, and for a minute, Kaidan could almost pretend things were back to normal. That he hadn’t been such an ass to her on Mars, that Horizon hadn't happened, that she’d never died—

“Are we going to be able to get past this, Kaidan?” she had asked suddenly, and it was like she could read his mind.

“I’d like to,” he answered honestly, swallowing hard. “We’ve been through hell and back together. That kind of bond, it’s hard to break. I just know... I just like having you in my life, Soph.”

“It was great to have you back on the Normandy,” she admitted, quietly, reaching out and giving his hand a small squeeze. Kaidan couldn’t help but think that’s the most honest she’d ever been, when it came to their relationship.

 _Their relationship._ The weight of everything had hit him then, suddenly, and he had instinctively frowned. It couldn’t be that easy, not this time around. Could it?

There are too many things unsaid, too many years between them, too many things they needed to talk about. They hadn’t talked about Viola, for one. About the things her childhood friend, Julian had told him at her funeral. About the fact he’d _been at_ her funeral, had actually, literally buried her. About how he had mourned her for two _years._ About her fling with—

He had realized Sophie was staring at him when she had sucked in a breath, catching his attention, and narrowed her eyes ever so slightly. _Shit._ That woman never missed a thing; she’d always been able to read him so well.

“Was there... something else?”

He had cleared his throat, ears burning. “Yeah, maybe,” he said, trying to sound casual. “When you were working for Cerberus—”

“ _With,”_ she interrupted icily, and he remembers wincing. _Not off to a great start there, Alenko._

“When you were working _with_ Cerberus,” he had tried again, “was there something between you and one of your crew?”

Her face instantly fell, and he knew in that moment it was true, regardless of what she might say next. And god, did it _hurt._ Still hurts, if he’s being honest.

“Kaidan” she sighed, covering her face with her hands. “It’s...” she trailed off, made a noise that was part frustration, part laugh, all emotion.

And then she’d apologized.

“I never meant to hurt you,” she’d said earnestly. “But after our fight, on Horizon, and your message—”

Kaidan couldn’t stand seeing her taking the blame for this, not when he knew he was at fault, too. And he’d cut her off then, eager to accept the blame for that email, for his role in everything. Eager to try to repair the damage done, to try and patch this painful hole in his own heart.

But thought of Shepard with someone else, someone he could _know_ hurts. Yeah, she had hurt him, whether or not she knew it, or meant to; and he’d lashed out.

His eyes flick back over to the bar, where Shepard is laughing at something the N7 said, and he wraps his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. She allows it, leans into him, even, sipping her beer as she shoots a coy look up at him. Rising up on her tiptoes she softly saying something into his ear that causes the man to roll his eyes and laugh, but not before Kaidan sees a familiar grin flash across Shepard’s face as she steps back towards the bar and out of his embrace.

He looks away, unable to watch her flirt with someone else any longer, and thinks back to Huerta, to the last time he saw her smile at him.

Before he’d put his foot in his mouth. Before he told Sophie he _understood why she cheated._

“Woah, Kaidan,” Sophie had said then, leaning back in her chair, eyes wide, annoyance suddenly flashing across her face. “Take it down a notch. I _what?”_

He remembers swallowing hard, remembers his ears burning. Oh sure, he knew what he’d _meant_ to say; how he'd wanted to explain to Shepard how hard it was to hear she was with someone else, spending her nights curled up in bed with anyone that wasn't _him._ He'd wanted to explain that it was awful, and yeah, maybe he was jealous. He'd wanted to tell her his doctor was a thing of the past, and even when Viola had been a thing of the present, it hadn't mattered, it had always been her. _Would_ always be her.

Kaidan had _wanted_ to make it clear to Shepard that there never was anyone else for him, not in this galaxy, not in this lifetime.

But what had come out? Had been far less eloquent - far more stupid, really - and Shepard had really let him have it.

 _Rightfully so,_ he thinks, finishing his drink and signalling a nearby asari server for another. At that moment, he catches Sophie in his peripheral vision, laughing at something Vega said, that N7’s hand resting on the small of her back as she leans over, snagging a carrot from Joker’s wing basket.

He forces himself to look away, and he swears he can hear her laugh from here; it’s a nice change from the venom in her voice the last time he'd seen her in the flesh.

“Kaidan, _you_ ended things with _me_ ,” she’d said, and he could feel the hum of her biotics as her eyes flashed with anger. “You made your bed and made it perfectly fucking clear I wasn’t welcome in it. You did that when you walked away on Horizon. When you refused to _listen_ to me. Oh, and in case I didn't get _that_ memo, as if I fucking could have missed it, you _had_ to follow it up with that god damned letter,” her voice had risen in pitch and volume as she spoke, clearly upset, and Kaidan finds himself once again wishing he could turn back the clock and rephrase what he’d said.

“Was that supposed to be an apology, Kaidan? I couldn't quite tell, what with the continued accusational line of questioning and general excuses your message was littered with. Not to mention the fact that YOU told ME you were dating some _doctor_.” She shakes her head, disbelief written across her face and pushes her chair back, standing.

“Cheated, Kaidan? I am not going to sit here and listen to this shit. I’m done.” And with that, she’d turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, leaving Kaidan’s head spinning. How had he managed to take things from flirty to downright icy so quickly?

It had all happened so fast.

He must’ve started a thousand messages to her, after that, each one worse than the last. There were at least five sitting in draft form on his ‘tool.

The server is back, setting another beer and a shot down in front of him, pulling him back to the present as Ferg slides into the booth across from him.

“I didn’t order this,” he says, motioning towards the shot.

“She did,” the asari replies, jerking her thumb behind her. Kaidan looks up, and sees Shepard quirking a half-smile at him from across the bar, eyebrow raised, a matching shot in hand. A peace offering, in her own weird way. He lifts his own glass, tilting it in her direction and giving her a small smile before throwing the shot back.

“You’ve got it bad,” Ferg says, shaking his head, and Kaidan just shrugs as he sets the empty glass down.

 _He’s not wrong_ , he thinks, _but maybe, just maybe, this means there’s hope for him and Sophie yet._

He’ll drink to that any day of the week.

 

* * *

 

**Yeah, I know I took creative licence and had the actual “I understand why you cheated” line delivered in the hospital, and not Apollo’s (because seriously).**

**I was nervous about this one, so let me know what you think! Concrit is welcome :)**


End file.
